Chinese Hegemony Accusations and I'm-Too-Cool-For-This-Shit

Being here in India, I've actually discovered many things about myself, and I shall share them with you right now. This will be as honest a post as I can make it without offending nor being entirely objective (for the sake of learning one must understand another's experience).

I wake up in the morning/afternoon, wake Leigh up (or am awoken by her), knock on Nuria's door, and we all head to breakfast before class. We will consider knocking on Kah Shin's door at the staircase, but someone will provide the information that she's not in her room.

We then head to the Mess where I grunt some form of acknowledgment to any CCC guys who might be there. The Frenchies have different classes most days. Or we will meet them in the mess and we'll sit at my favourite long table (in my favoured chair) and have our breakfast.

We (as a bunch) will then walk to class with whomever may have joined our table. We have conversations with the CCC people as they come and go from the table. We rarely seek them out for anything during the day, unless someone has borrowed a hard-disk or if someone needs help with something. Chances are we're holed up in our rooms doing our work.

We know a few people here and there from the PGP course. Some we've met from classes, some we've met along the way. We do not seek them out either. We make acquaintances when they happen and we treasure these meetings. The next time we see them, we do small things like make conversation, give chocolate biscuits or have tea.

I know several students here. I do not know them well, but I recognise them and they recognise me. I am not a very outgoing person who will seek out people for company and make small talk. I find it exceptionally dreary to speak to someone out of necessity and desire for company, especially if I find that person incompatible with my personality. I am naturally suspicious of people, because I have been proven right about people on several occasions and when I've chosen to ignore my instincts, I get proven right later on.

This is how I function. I will make conversation with someone when I need something from them. This is self-interest, everyone does it, it's only if they want to acknowledge it, and it depends on how much they need from that someone else.

I would speak to you if I thought that your company was nice and enriching. I would talk to you if I've known you for awhile and don't find you irritating, stupid or weird. Yes, I have a low threshold for stupidity. I have an even greater abhorrence for rude people. This sounds too arrogant for you? Well, it's cause I'm being honest here. No one makes conversation with someone else for nothing. Even wanting to know more about that person has a motive there. One just needs to see it.

On a daily basis, we hang out with one another (French and Singaporean alike) because we enjoy one another's company. We like to think we're friends. And we are. We are in a way that isn't totally self-serving, there is no us against them, there is no my gang of exchange students versus the local students. We merely have more in common, having lived in the same place for awhile now, and the similar context of being on exchange.

This is an argument that people have made to me:

If you're not keen on making friends with the local students, then what is the point of going on exchange?

Here is my take:

1) I've come on exchange without any conception of what I'm going to do here and with no lofty aims of anything, but so far I've had my mind blown by the various experiences I've had.

2) If anything, I consciously, and let me repeat this, consciously decided to come on exchange because I wanted to challenge myself. I didn't set out to make tons of friends, those of you who know me know that I'm not the trusting, needy sort. And what the hell is a 'friend' anyway? My definition isn't people whom you just constantly try and associate with because one thinks they're cool and that this "coolness" would rub off on one.

3) Going on exchange and making friends is not the aim. At least not for me. I'm not going to say, I've come to India and because I don't have an extended Facebook count of People-I-Know, my experience is diminished.

4) I would be glad and happy to know that I've made a few pals here, and gotten to know those friends around me better, than to perceive that I'm loved because I walk up to more acquaintances and am uber-friendly.

5) I came here to learn more about myself and about the world around me. I've learned plenty so far, but if not making "friends" is an issue, then oh-I'm-so-sorry-mom for wasting your money. Because I thought an exchange was meant for one to do what one wants to do and be as happy as possible.

6) And I'm elated at my current situation (except for the exams, the essays and the constant staring).

7) I suppose when one feels content with the situation and people around, that's when one feels no need to constantly be on the prowl for affection.

Remember.